The Safety Library » Humor




Wisdom



Old Age

You can tell when you are crossing over into your twilight years when:

  • Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

  • In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

  • It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.

  • No one expects you to run into a burning building.

  • People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you up?"

  • People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

  • There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

  • Things you buy now won't wear out.

  • You can eat dinner at 4:00 p.m.

  • You can live without sex but not without glasses.

  • You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

  • You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

  • You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

  • You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

  • You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the
    room

  • You sing along with the elevator music.

  • Your eyes won't get much worse.

  • Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

  • Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.

  • our secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

  • Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

  • You don't think anything in this list is funny


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