Wisdom

• Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
  
  
• Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
  
  
• Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
  
  
• Stupidity got us into this mess -- why can't it get us out?
  
  
• Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
  
  
• Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
  
  
• Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.
  
  
• An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.
  
  
• There is always death and taxes; however death doesn't get worse every year.
  
  
• People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.
  
  
• It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
  
  
• I don't mind going anywhere as long as it's an interesting path.
  
  
• Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
  
  
• Indecision is the key to flexibility.
  
  
• It hurts to be on the cutting edge.
  
  
• If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.
  
  
• I don't get even, I get odder.
  
  
• In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
  
  
• I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.
  
  
• Dijon vu -- the same mustard as before.
  
  
• I am a nutritional overachiever
  
  
• My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
  
  
• I am having an out of money experience.
  
  
• I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
  
  
• I am in shape. Round is a shape.
  
  
• Practice safe eating -- always use condiments.
  
  
• A day without sunshine is like night.
  
  
• I have kleptomania, but when it gets really bad, I take something for it.
  
  
• If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.
  
  
• I am not a perfectionist. My parents were, though.
  
  
• Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.
  
  
• You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
  
  
• One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make you gain five pounds.
  
  
• The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
  
  
• Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
  
  
• Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
  
  
• Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
  
  
• Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.
  
  
• You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.
  
  
  
  
  
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