Business / Corporate : Professions

Insurance Professionals

On the first day God made the sun; so the Devil countered and created sunburn.
On the second day God created sex, and in response the Devil created marriage.
On the third day, God made an insurance broker, and the Devil was stumped.
After much consideration, he created a second broker.

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A smart insurance company executive and an honest broker were seen
walking down the street with Santa Claus. They all spotted a $50 bill laying right in the middle of the side walk... Who picked it up?

Santa did...a smart insurance executive and an honest broker are figments of your imagination!

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DEFINITION: un-der-writ-er n. 1 : One who lacks the personality to be an Actuary.

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Question: Why do risk managers have such clear vision and foresight?
Answer: From the ivory tower, you can see forever.

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Ever notice how little aerobic exercise attorney's need? Must be from chasing all those ambulances.

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The only way to tell if a broker is lying is to check if his lips are moving.

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On the other hand, insurance company executives don't lie... they really just
don't know what the the truth is!

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Old accountants never die; they just lose their balance.

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Old underwriters, on the other hand, just take less risks.

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When risk managers are right, they'll always let you know their entirely right.
When wrong, RMs will only let know they're mostly right.

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Question: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with an attorney?
Answer: An offer you can't understand.

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If a risk manager, a broker and an underwriter were all drowning and you could only save one of them, which would you do first?
Go to lunch or read the paper?

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Question: Why did God create actuaries?
Answer: So that insurance forecasting can be considered an accurate science.