Business / Corporate : Professions

Profesional Qualities 2

Three brokers and three agents were going for a trip by train. Before the journey, the agents bought 3 tickets and the brokers only one.

Agents were glad their stupid colleagues were going to pay a fine. Hovewer when the conductor was approaching their compartment, all three brokers went to the nearest bathroom and all sqeezed in.

The conductor noticing that somebody is in the bathroom knocked on the door and in reply saw a hand with the ticket. He checked it and brokers saved 2/3 of the ticket price.

Next day agents decided to use the same strategy - they bought only one ticket... but brokers did not buy tickets at all.

When agents saw conductor they went to the bathroom, and when they heard knocking they handed in the ticket. They did not get it back. The brokers took it and went to the other bathroom!.

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A party of insurance exeuctives was climbing in the Alps . After several hours they became hopelessly lost. One of them studied the map for some time, turning it up and down, sighting on distant landmarks,
consulting his compass, and finally the sun.

Finally he said, ' OK see that big mountain over there?'
'Yes', answered the others eagerly.
'Well, according to the map, we're standing on top of it.'

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Two men are flying in a captive balloon. The wind is ugly and they come away from their course and they have no idea where they are. So they go down to 20 m above ground and ask a passing wanderer. "Could you tell us where we are?"

"You are in a balloon."

So the one pilot says to the other "The answer is perfectly right and absolutely useless. The man must be an actuary."

"Then you must be insurance executive", answers the man.

"Thats right! How did you know?"

"You have such a good view from where you are and yet you don't know where you are!"

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Q:Why did God create actuaries?
A:In order to make weather forecasters look good.

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Two risk managers meet on the street. One inquires, "How's your wife?" The other responds, "Relative to what?"

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I asked an actuary for her phone number....and she gave me an estimate.

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Q: How many economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Eight. One to screw it in and seven to hold everything else constant.

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Economists have forecasted 9 out of the last 5 recessions.

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It was the underwriters that discovered that eighty percent of rules of thumb only apply 20 percent of the time.

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When an economist says the evidence is "mixed," he or she means that theory says one thing and data says the opposite.

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"What would actuarial science be without assumptions?" He thought for a moment, then replied, "accounting."

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We have 2 classes of insurance sales executives: Those who don't know... and those who don't know they don't know

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If all actuaries were laid end to end they would not reach a conclusion.

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Brokers don't answer questions because they know what the answer is. They answer because they are asked.